By Warren Ellis
Burned-out inner most dick Michael McGill must jump-start his profession. What he will get in its place is a farm animals prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted leader of employees desires McGill to discover the Constitution—the genuine one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the duration of gravest predicament. And with God, civility, and Mom's selfmade apple pie already useless or death, that point is now. yet McGill has a expertise for stumbling into each that you can think of depravity—and this example is riding him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, towards obscenities that boggle even his brain.
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Additional resources for Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
The family wanted me to find him. Turns out he’s joined an old people’s suicide club called Sinner’s Gate. Sick old people intending to kill themselves to escape indignity. Only Sinner’s Gate members believe they led bad lives and have no right to a painless exit. “I found him in a shithole off the Bowery, in a room with a vacuum cleaner. ” She shook her head, nervous of the story. “I walked in and he put his penis in the vacuum cleaner and switched it on. Ripped the entire skin off his penis instantly.
Jesus Christ, Mike . ” “Big old fat naked dead guy flopped over a vacuum cleaner that was still chewing on his dick. ” She looked at me. Direct eye contact, a little creasing of her mouth. I realized it was pity. ” She came back with doubles and sank back into her chair. ” “And you call yourself a detective. ” “Okay . . ” “Apparently you weren’t supposed to. ” I pulled the black handheld computer from my inside jacket pocket. ” She laughed. ” “. . ” She leaned in, grinning. “Damn, this is interesting, though.
It hooks into the net so he can email me updates. Not that I expect any. The trail’s all cold. All I can do is pick a point and start following it. ” “And now I know. ” “Hey, I’m from Chicago. ” She gave me a look. ” I laughed and polished off my vodka. ” Trix looked at me deadpan. ” “Sure I’m serious. You need education in the ways of the modern world or else you are frankly doomed. And I can expand my thesis into something killer. ” I studied the bottom of my glass. ” “Mike, you’ve had five drinks and you haven’t even hinted at trying to jump me.