By Sharon Aris
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Additional info for Being Married: Your Guide to a Happy Modern Marriage
With Mike’s IT contract about to run out, meaning they’d have to go back overseas for work, the couple finally settled on the perfect Pacific Ocean destination where there were no hassles—Sydney. Now, however, they were back to square one on the family invite politics and had just seven weeks to organise the whole event. It was only then that Natalie realised that a big element in Mike’s reluctance to get married wasn’t his family’s assumptions about the wedding, but his own. ‘He was saying things like, “I’ll have to get up and do a bridal waltz”, “I’ll have to wear a tux”, and “I’ll have to give this long speech”,’ she recounts.
The inventories look at their flexibility in decisionmaking, particularly in times of stress, and the values and attitudes that they’ve brought from their own families. ‘It’s really giving people information and enabling them to use the knowledge and skills they already have to address issues that can be universally present in long-term committed relationships,’ says Haski. ’ This was very much the experience of Andrew, a financier, and Eleanor, now a full-time mother with an active involvement in several charities.
And knowing the law didn’t help much either: all that’s legally required for a wedding is for an exchange of vows to have taken place in front of a celebrant, as well as observing the requirements of the Marriage Act. In short, we hadn’t a clue. We started to realise that there’s a reason tradition is popular. It provides a secure framework, a script that everyone understands and meanings that can be repeated by heart—‘as long as you both shall live’, ‘you may now kiss the bride’, ‘I now present Mr and Mrs Married’—so everyone’s comfortable and knows what’s coming next.