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By Gillian Schofield, Mary Beek

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To provide a secure base, dependable adult caregivers must be available but not intrusive, alert to their children’s signals, and ready to respond with encouragement, assistance or reassurance. Children need to believe and expect that their caregivers will be interested in them and to trust in their caregivers’ capacity to provide loving care and a “safe haven”. ● When children can trust that such an environment will be unfailingly there for them, they are freed from anxiety and so able to explore, play and learn freely.

Explain that they may share some of their thoughts, if they wish, at the end of the questions. Slide 8 Own experience of secure base availability ● Who was the person whom you could trust to be available to you at this time? ● What did this person do or say to let you know that they were available to you? ● How did this make you feel? ● Did this person being available help you to cope with the situation? If yes, how did it help? If no, what else might have been helpful? Ask participants to discuss their thoughts, briefly, with the person sitting next to them.

The caregiver may also be insensitive to the child’s feelings by being intrusive or interfering. In response, the child learns to avoid displaying feelings or asking for comfort. Instead, the child becomes self-reliant in order not to upset the caregiver or provoke rejection. This is a strategy for protecting the self from rejection or intrusion, but also achieving some proximity to the caregiver. The avoidantly attached child does not show emotions but is angry and anxious and doubts his own lovability.

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